Preschool. Check.

Friday was also Noah's last day of preschool. Forever. Little hyperventilation on the part of the parents... Gonna have to accept it but that doesn't mean we have to like it. Last day of the year means Field Day for the kiddos. It was daddy's day off so he got to go and help. His job was the shoebox races. We showed up just in time for the parachute.

Is there any kid who does not love the parachute?I love to watch their faces when they play with this.

After all the games, we moved inside for Popsicles.

Even the siblings got one which made one certain little boy very happy.

As the children left the classroom, they got one final hug from each of their teachers. Mrs. Gregory

and Mrs. Rothgeb.

Noah had a great year in their class and I think we are all going to miss them. I was a little disappointed that there was no ceremony on any kind. He did get a diploma, though.

I found a cute little preschool graduation card. Daddy had to read it to him, though, because silly mommy kept choking up.

It was pretty cute to watch how proud he was. After the card, he went around and gave every one in the family the biggest hug.

One of the sweeter moments I can remember. Too bad it has to insinuate that big, bad kindergarten is just around the corner...

Play Ball!

T-Ball season #1 is officially underway. Game #1 was last night and it went just as you would think a 4 and 5-yr-old baseball game would. Everyone on the team bats every inning. No outs. Last batter runs all the bases. 12 little boys on a team. Takes forever to get through an inning. Games last an hour and we got through almost three innings in that time frame. But, all that aside, a good time was had by all.

(Sporting his Hot Wheels shades - thanks, Codey!) A little warming up.Pregame huddle and pep talk.Let's PLAY BALL! You guessed it! Noah got a hit and later scored a run - every time he was at bat, actually. What can I say? The kid is good!

Chatting it up with his teammates on the bench.

And the fielding...

Purple Cardinals - Undefeated. Go team!

Baseball Eve

Last Friday marked a very exciting day in our house. Noah had his first real T-ball practice - with daddy as his coach! Due to a LOT of rain, the first practice got pushed back a week and a half and ended up being the night before the first game. Daddy gave it his best effort and Noah was so happy to have daddy out there with him.

We really weren't sure what to expect with Noah. Our other attempts at team sports had not been so well-received but we took into account the fact that he was pretty young and wanted to give him another shot. We also weren't sure what he would do with daddy out there. We have some issues with him taking instructions from us at times and weren't sure if it would be better to have someone unfamiliar be his coach. But daddy really did want to be out there and to get to be a part of Noah's introduction to his [daddy's] favorite pastime. I was really proud of daddy, too. He had to go way out of his comfort zone for this and he did it a fantastic job.Night one went pretty well. His favorite part was, of course, batting. (Envisioning of his out-of-the-park homerun or yawning?? I can't tell.) Who doesn't like that best, really? (Unless you are an AL pitcher, that is...) He wasn't crazy about fielding but liked all the catching gear. This is how little brother spent the evening. (Such a good listener to mommy's pleas to PLEASE stay out of the mud. As if I thought it was really going to work. Mud is a boy magnet and I know that. I'm actually more surprised the entire T-ball team wasn't here all evening.) And with one good practice under his belt, sweet Noah went to bed dreaming of baseball - complete with new batting gloves intact.

Dear Santa

Just thought I would give you a head's up, Big Guy... Benjamin has his heart set on a tuba for Christmas. Noah tried to tell him that you don't make insstruments that big in your toy shop but he isn't buying it. So, if I were you, I'd start hitting those garage sales now. From what I hear, cheap tubas for three-year-olds are hard to come by. Oh, wait... he will be four by then. Hope that helps!
Oh, and don't worry about the roller skates anymore. He spotted some at WalMart and has not stopped talking about them since. I am hiring him to do odd jobs around the house to earn his $18.44. I'm pretty certain he will have those skates in no time. So, you can just concentrate on that tuba. Good luck!

Abby Meets Elmo

I have mentioned before that Abby LOVES Elmo. We really have no explanation for this as she has never actually seen him. Well, not on TV, that is... We have a lot of Sesame Street toys around the house so she knows who he is. In fact, she only knows who HE is. Every Sesame Street character is lovingly referred to as Elmo - including Abby Cadabby, which really should not be the case. But we have learned to live with it. Today while making lunch I decided to give her a real treat - to make up for the front yard cage incident. I put on an Elmo video. And how did she react? Uh, yeah. She was excited. The boys, however, were not so happy as they could not see through her head. I can't wait to see how often she asks to see it again. Up until this point, she has not paid a lick of attention to the television (except for her animal video). Hopefully I didn't create another TV monster....

A Beautiful Day

We had the perfect day to be outside today, so we did just that. We "be'd" outside. All day. I don't have any pictures because I was too busy working. It's too bad, too, because there were some things happening today that were camera worthy... For instance. I took the baby gate out of the front room and caged Abby in the driveway so I could actually accomplish something. (I decided to start the day off with mowing the lawn.) She HATED it! She stood in there crying and calling to me the whole time. I felt sorry for her. So I mowed really fast. :) More picture worthy than that? The boys were self-suffient. They played together (or seperately at the same time) ALL DAY. Really. Benjamin came over at times and helped me weed. Noah planted some flower seeds with me. But, really, for the most part they were on their own. And it was beautiful! There is still a lot of unpleasant talking between the two but they have come such a long way. They are actually finding out that it is fun to play together. I love it! After a while the neighbor kids came out. By the time daddy got home there were eight little ones running between our three houses. There was much giggling and squealing and there is truly no sweeter sound than that. So, what did I do with my day? After mowing the front yard, we all cleaned out the car. Abby sat in a car seat downing every leftover snack she could find and the boys helped me pull trash out from under the seats. We went to the car wash and vaccumed it all out. (Noah says it's good as new.) After lunch I weeded all the front flower bed areas. Now we just need to decide what we should plant in there and get it under way already. No more sitting on our 'duffs' and talking about all we should be doing. See, I was planning on missing out on this summer as I lay yucky in bed. Since that will not be the case, I figure I better make the most of my 'new-found' time. And tomorrow the rain is supposed to move back in... Glad we were able to take advantage of our sunny day.

Benjamin's Last Day

Tuesday was Benjamin's last day of school. I'm pretty certain it was a whole lot colder that day than it was when he started back in September. But he was happy to adorn his coat and humor his mommy for a picture. Oh, boy that kid is cute. Hehehe... We decided to make his teachers some flower pots as end-of-the-year gifts. He posed with them, too. "Show me your sweetest smile, Benj..." "Uh, no, not that one, dear." "Much better. Thank you." Parent's Day Out? Complete. Next year - Preschool. Oh boy! He claims he doesn't want to go but I think he will like it.

Our Loss

It is with great sadness that we have to write this post. Two weeks ago we learned that we had suffered a miscarriage. Because I would be turning 35 before the delivery we were in a special category that allowed us early sonograms. With my "advanced maternal age" there were certain measurements they wanted to check. Our first sonogram was April 20. There was no indication that anything was wrong but the bones they had hoped to measure were not large enough yet so they scheduled us to come back a week later. If you have ever had a sonogram you know that when they measure certain aspects of the fetus an estimated gestational age pops up on the bottom. The second week, that measurement was exactly the same as it had been for our first visit. 11 weeks, 1 day. While the doctor didn't say anything at first, he was pushing a lot of buttons and trying to look at the baby from different angles. I knew right away there was a problem because I couldn't see a heartbeat. He finally said, "I'm sorry..." It was the worst sentence ever. After his words of sympathy, he left the room to go call our OB to determine what we were to do next. When he left the room I lost it. Due to a little stomach flu we had Abby with us. Christopher stepped over to me and after a second Abby reached out to hug me and kissed my lips. This was the first time she had done that of her own accord and truly something I will never forget.
Christopher's parents were out of town so luckily we were able to find some friends to come and stay with the kids while we went to meet with our doctor. Boy, there is nothing worse than walking into an OB's office in that situation. They quickly ushered us to the back where it was determined we would have a D&C two days following. Thankfully, my mom was able to fly down first thing the next morning. She was here to stay with the kids but was also willing to be our messenger. As we had just started sharing the good news with people, we didn't really want to go have to face them all again. We are so thankful that she was able to come and do that. Aside from that, I was also just thankful for her company. As Dr. Shipman says, "There is just no better medicine than a mom."
So, where are we now? Well, still hurting, but I think we get better each day. We sat the boys down that first night and explained to them that mommy was no longer going to have a baby. They seemed most upset because we were upset in talking to them. Benjamin didn't say much. Noah asked a lot of questions that hinted at the fact that he really didn't understand what we were saying until we explained that the baby was now in heaven with Grandma Dorothy. He still asks on occasion why our baby died (sometimes really loudly in the middle of Target - sorry, complete strangers!). We are doing our best to answer his questions but it is not all that easy when we don't understand ourselves. I can finally close my eyes now without seeing that final sonogram, which means I can sleep now. That is definitely a good thing. All the doctors were very quick to tell us that none of this was our/my fault, that we had done nothing wrong; that statistically this just happens sometimes. We understand that they were trying to be comforting and maybe in some way it was, but mostly it was just numbers. We both have struggled with feelings of guilt - What did we do? Have we not proved ourselves good parents? Was it that ibuprofen I took before I knew I was pregnant? Did we not pray hard enough for the new baby? A friend asked if we were angry. I don't think either of us ever felt any anger towards God - just a lot of confusion and guilt that we were somehow to blame. The guilt is starting to subside but I don't know if the confusion ever will.
We have received a number of condolences and have had a lot of contact from people that have also experienced a miscarriage: our minister, our OB, the nurse that cared for us after our procedure, and several friends. My mom asked if it helped when people shared that information. The answer is yes. And, no. It is, of course, comforting to know that we are not the only ones to have been here. On the flip side of that, it is scary to learn just how common miscarriages really are. We were so naive in believing that because we had been through it three times already without a hitch that we were free and clear. We were unaware of just how fragile our little gift was and maybe didn't fully appreciate how truly blessed we are to have the three perfect, beautiful children that we do have. While we are not really sure what our future holds at this point, we know it is going to be a continual process of getting past certain dates. As you have seen in our last several posts, I was all about planning what life would be like. Instead we have to try to get past these dates. Our suffering will be in the little things: remembering that the new dress I need for a wedding this summer will no longer be a maternity dress; picking out Halloween costumes for three kids; attending the Christmas at Resurrection program; etc. We will be celebrating each of these events with our three beautiful children and you can be sure we will be hugging them a little harder and kissing them a little more.