R.I.P.

or, really, not at all... Sometime last fall, Noah decided he no longer needed an afternoon nap. Being his wise mother, however, I have not been so quick to accept this idea. I have diligently placed him in his room every afternoon - just in case he decides he's a little sleepy. On rare occasions, it actually happens. (Like once in the last two weeks...) I think the truth is, I am not ready to give up my 'alone' time to just sit, or email, etc. Well, on Wednesday I really needed to rest a little myself. I put Noah down, fed Benjamin and put him down, and Noah was still talking away in his room. So I decided to do a little science experiment. What would happen if I went in and tried to sleep with him? Now in the past, we have had no success with this idea. He could be all tuckered out and yet when we put him in to bed with us, he'd conjure up all kinds of energy - bouncing off of us, flipping here and there, jumping on the bed. I didn't have high hopes this week but, for some reason, he let me climb in to bed and wrap my arms around him. Now, do you remember when you were little and you'd pretend to be asleep so daddy would have to carry you in from the car? But as he approached, you always started giggling and gave yourself away? Well, you should try it nose-to-nose with a two year old! I laid my head on the pillow and closed my eyes trying my best to fall asleep but I just knew someone was staring at me. I'd open my eyes and hear, "Mama! Mama! Okay." And then he would show me something like the dragon that he had painted on his arm. I'd kiss the dragon, kiss his forehead, and close my eyes again, only to feel a tiny finger tickling my eyelashes, outlining my lips, or even going up my nose. I couldn't help but giggle. He tried to be so quiet and started out just whispering to me but by the end, he was loudly chattering about anything and everything - still laying in my arms. I finally accepted that my experiment had failed and we headed downstairs for cupcakes. While I did not get my nap, I'd have to say that one hour on Wednesday afternoon was one of the better moments of my life. I would have given anything to have had a video camera on my forehead to tape our time together so when I start to feel down or spent, I could play it as a constant reminder - this is what it is all about - quiet time just me and my sweet, little, baby boy. And a reminder that I am truly blessed - tired or not.